"A TUNE OF GROWTH" BY OGANG, ZIAH REIGN M.
"A Tune of Growth"
Ever since I can remember, I have always loved music. I grew up in a family that bonded through karaoke sessions and jam sessions. By age 2-3, I was already singing at family gatherings, along with my sister. Music became a release, especially when I feel stressed or pressured. Despite the praise received from others, I often felt anxious, thinking I would mess up every time. But due to the expectations from everyone, I had to perform whether I liked it or not, making my anxiety worse.
In Junior High, I joined the Instrumental Ensemble Club, which focuses on music. I would be one of the chosen members to perform during events or special occasions in school, but it was not a problem for me since I would always perform together with a group or another member. I never imagined singing solo, especially joining a solo singing competition, until 9th grade when my classmates, teachers, and friends encouraged me to audition for the Josenian voice, a singing competition held in the department during the Intramurals.
Then suddenly, all the pressure and anxiety had consumed me before I even thought about joining. I was not planning to audition- not because I didn’t want to, but because I was scared that I’d make a mistake, that I’d embarrass myself. Yet despite that, they were persistent in making me join the auditions. I chose a song that challenged me somehow, practiced, and made my friends listen to it. But then, when it was already my turn, I switched to a calmer song which I had not practiced and familiarized on the spot as I was scared.. Scared to give it my best and end up failing. When the announcement was made and I found out that I did not qualify for the finals, on the outside, I felt relief; however, I couldn’t help but feel discouraged.
My friends were wondering why I changed my song last minute, but... I couldn’t tell them that I did not give it my best, as I was scared to admit failure despite doing my best. Though I expected it, I felt disappointed in myself. Until one of my music teachers, who was also one of the judges for the audition, came up to me and told me to audition again next year, as I would have qualified for the finals if I had just continued through my chosen song’s chorus. That was the moment I realized how much I missed out on the chance I could’ve grabbed. Countless “What ifs” kept running through my head, nonstop. What if I didn’t change my song? What if I had given it my best? As these questions linger in my head, I realized that I shouldn’t let my fear hold me back from doing what I enjoy.
Then, a year later, I was in the 10th grade, my friends, classmates, everyone, and I pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone, and try to audition for the last time. Surprisingly, I got on the finals list. This was the moment that I felt like I was finally aiming for something. It's not about placing or even the championship award, as it’s about overcoming my fear, silencing my doubts, and truly expressing myself in the medium I love.
A few days before the competition, I lost my voice due to the previous activities I had participated in, like the declamation contest, and maybe even due to the stress, pressure, and anxiety I was feeling at that moment. As the competition was fast approaching, I prayed each night and cried to the Lord to grant me His grace and His guidance to help me overcome the upcoming competition. Despite the condition of my voice, I still kept going with only a maximum of one round of practice per day in order to preserve my voice. Then came the day of the competition, where I unexpectedly got the award of 1st runner up, which was really so unexpected.
With that, I have realized that we humans aren’t incapable of doing things that we want; it’s just the thought of us, scared of disappointment, that’s holding us back. I guess it’s true that we shall never know whether we can do it or not, unless we take it or we lose the chance. At that moment, I felt like it was more than just a singing competition, but a journey of courage. A radiating light indicating hope and my growth upon overcoming my fear. Completing the competition, placing as a runner up as a bonus, taught me that even when the situations are difficult—when my voice had failed me and when my fear clouded my mind, perseverance can truly transform limitations into milestones. I stepped onto that stage not to prove something to others, but to prove to myself that I can do it.
At the moment I performed in the finals—despite my voice shaking—I felt stronger than the fear and the doubt consuming my mind. It was as if my determination and courage sang louder than my uncertain voice. I realized that I am more than just my abilities, mind, or body; my performance wasn’t about success or failure, but a stepping stone to discovering a version of myself who truly believes in herself. It was a glimpse of who I am when fear yields to purpose.
Before I auditioned again, I saw the situation from a fear-driven perspective, which is a partial point of view, wherein I only saw the risk of embarrassment or failure. I thought that I was unworthy or untalented enough to qualify for the competition, and I believed that I must protect myself from the pain of failure. But when I truly tried to understand the whole context of the situation and identified that this is what I want to do, which is my the Holistic Point of View, with the support of everyone around me, I came to realize that this given experience should be taken as an opportunity to learn and grow, and not just a contest to win. At first, as I considered only one perspective, focusing on my fear of failure, I was exposed to vulnerability. However, when I started to see things from a bigger perspective, it taught me the importance of resiliency, courage, and determination. With this, it helped me to respond to the situation more wisely. Though scared, I didn’t let it consume me, but rather act upon that fear and face it bravely.
I once believed that when I gave my best, I would be met with more disappointment with failure. That “I will just embarrass myself” or that “I’m not good enough”, but later, I realized that those were just opinions, and created stories in my head driven by my own emotions, without anything to prove it true. As my doubtful thoughts linger in my head, I chose to see things from a different perspective, and started listening to my heart, the support of everyone around me, and to take the risk-joining the competition. I listened to the feedback from my music teacher, family, and friends, and evaluated my performance outcomes to truly identify which is true. Their encouragement, suggestions, and even their criticism helped me test my beliefs, like when my friends asked me why I “sabotaged” my audition by changing my song last minute, which really made me reflect on myself. By challenging my thoughts with real feedback and experiences, I grew more mature as a person, which helped me overcome my fears. Instead of blindly listening to my fearful and doubtful thoughts, I have learned to take the chance, choose hope, and act from what is true, identifying my true capabilities.