"WHEN CHANGE FOUND ME" BY HILUANO, SAMANTHA KATE G.

"When Change Found Me"

“Asa ka mo senior high?” “Unsa ang imong course?” These were the questions I often heard, especially during my last year in Junior High School. Back then, I didn’t think much of it—I mean, who would want to talk about the future when the present was right in front of you, right? 

I was wrong. Little did I know that the last year of my Junior high school would just pass by like a bullet train. 

I felt like my years in Junior High School happened in the blink of an eye. One moment, I closed my eyes, and the next, I saw the end of our Moving Up Ceremony. If I had known how fast time would fly, maybe – just maybe – I would’ve cherished the moments a little more. 

Looking back, we were just kids. We were just kids who happened to be there for each other in the darkest times. We were just kids who shared the loudest laughter, the quietest cries, and the deepest memories. We were just kids who shared the same dreams, same goals, and same schools. The question “Asa ka mo senior high?” never really struck us. For us, it was just another filler question that filled the silence in conversations. But little did we know that question would soon become “When mo available?” 

That realization hit me like a truck about reality. It made me realize that these people I shared most of my years with would soon be gone, moving on with their lives. It was a hard pill to swallow–and honestly, I still haven't fully swallowed it. It hit me that senior high school would mark the beginning of change. The change I never expected to come. The change I never wanted. The change I had avoided for so long. 

Back then, I didn't think seriously about the future. I saw it as a distant relative–hard to reach and easy to ignore. I never carefully thought about the plans the future had set for me. I thought I had more time, believing that there was still a long way to go..  

But as the years kept changing, the months left with these people became shorter.  And I regret not cherishing every moment we had together. Because you never really know the true value of something until you lose it. That truth hit me again; it hit me that I’d never be in the same classroom again with the people I loved. 

It pained me to see all of us go our separate ways, fulfilling our dreams and goals. I was scared of going into the future without these people by my side. I was scared of change.

 

People always talk about how change is a part of our human nature, but no one talks about how scary it is. Imagine waking up in a place—a place where you don't have the hallways and walls memorized. Where you don't know the voices around you, where everything feels unfamiliar. 

That happened to me. I woke up in an environment that felt like a maze–a puzzle I had to solve immediately. I couldn’t see the faces that had been with me throughout the years. I felt scared, uncertain, and anxious. 

What if I fail to meet the expectations of these people? What if they don’t like me? What if they thought lowly of me? 

These thoughts clouded my mind, leaving me wondering if this change was the right choice. Was transferring schools the right choice? I kept trying to convince myself it was, trying so hard not to sway myself from regretting this choice I made. I didn’t want others to think they were right–that I shouldn’t have transferred after all. I tried so hard, gaslighting myself, that this move was a door to new opportunities. But no matter what, I just couldn’t see it, I started to regret, started to overthink about how different it would be if I stayed—if I didn't change.  

The doubt started eating me alive. I wanted so badly to believe that I had made the right choice.

In the end, I never got a clear answer–whether it was right or wrong. Instead, I got a completely different answer. I gained a new perspective, a new point of view on my decision. I wasn’t right or wrong, I just hadn’t seen it from another angle yet. If you had told me 8 months ago that I would become a student of this University, I would’ve laughed in your face. Me? In this prestigious school? It was just a dream I couldn’t reach. A dream that soon became the root of my transformation. 

Yes, change is scary. But change is also what makes us humans. It’s terrifying–but it's exciting. Through change, we see the beauty of the world, the beauty of discovering life in different points of view. It opens our understanding that there is so much more in the world than dwelling on our past.

At first, I saw my school transfer as a mistake. But now, I see that it wasn’t such a bad decision after all. Because by moving, I realized that as we transition into different parts of our lives, there will always be a change of environment. A change that allows you to become someone who goes beyond their limitations. To become someone who will leave their comfort zones to grow, and someone who will explore to soar. As I continue my journey here at the University of San Jose Recoletos, I will continue to remember that I came here to change. I came here to become a much better version of myself–one the world hasn’t seen yet. 

Change in a new light made me realize that it's thrilling, unfamiliar, and fresh. I'm excited for change, for growth. The future may be uncertain and filled with challenges, but I won’t allow myself to give up because of the small things. The things in life won't always go the way we plan them to be–and that’s okay. As life is unique, it will always be different, one after another. 

Change isn’t just about entering a new environment. It’s about developing a deeper understanding of life. It helps us stop dwelling on problems and become stewards in looking for new solutions. 

Yes—change is a scary thing, but through change, we grow.