"AWAKENING GROWTH" BY BARON, MARIANNE A.

"Awakening Growth"

     Life's journey requires more than a village of experiences and obstacles to fulfill. People tend to create lists and set goals to achieve what they want, thereby satisfying their desires and dreams, and seeking validation from others. Sometimes, when they get caught up in the situation, they tend to exceed their limitations. Does the satisfaction and fulfillment people tend to obtain, which causes them to exceed their limitations, manifest as personal growth?

Throughout my junior high school journey, I was consistently tasked with leading a group and serving as the class president. I have a personal goal to excel in every school activity, aiming to achieve the highest score in group projects. In every group and school activity, I tend to take on more than my body can handle. I always shoulder almost all of the tasks because I want it to be perfect, and I want it to align with my standard of perfection. Doing school work for me is like being in a contest, and I should be among the top performers; that is how my life revolves. I tend to pour everything into my work because it's a way for me to assure myself that I can achieve one of the highest grades, given all the dedication I've put into it. I am one of those grade-conscious at its finest. Moreover, if the outcome is not as good as I expected, I tend to blame myself, thinking that my hard work and efforts might not be enough to cover all aspects of the activities. Maybe they’re a way better leader than I am. And why did I become a leader if I could not give the winning trophy to my classmates and myself? Am I even qualified enough to be a leader? Why do they always choose me to be a leader? I'm unsure if I am a good leader for them. Those thoughts struck my mind every day. Furthermore, every day I tried to overcome those thoughts in my life until I reached my realizations. 

Focusing on those desires, I forgot how it feels to live in a balanced situation. I poured everything into my academic life. Looking at my friends and classmates, I wonder why they have a social life after school. Then, it suddenly occurred to me how life evolves. Can I enjoy things I love while being mindful of my actions towards my academic achievements? Moreover, why do I always get picked as a leader when I even doubt if I am doing my responsibilities as a leader? 

Realizations suddenly hit me that I can be more than who I am right now if I try different options and explore new things. Instead of carrying everything as a burden on my shoulders, I try to find joy in it. By doing so, I have slowly learned to open up to others and share the responsibilities more equally. Guiding them through making to-do lists, setting deadlines, offering help to my classmates and friends, and sharing my profound knowledge with my friends and classmates. Moreover, through this realization, I discovered that my classmates can also lend their expertise to help each one of us. It dawned on me that through single effort, you cannot achieve your goals within the group. Group work and class activities should be done through teamwork, hard work, and perseverance to achieve a better result. 

In addition, through my leadership years in my junior high school days, I learned that being a leader does not mean to shoulder everything on your own. I can call for help when I can't do it anymore, and asking for help does not mean you are weak. Moreover, being a leader is like guiding your members to understand and offer a helping hand when in need. Moreover, leadership means understanding and listening to each of your members. Thus, frustration is always present because others may not cooperate. Instead of getting mad, try to understand better and learn to communicate more efficiently. Communication is one of those key instruments to avoid misunderstanding and confusion with one another. Being a leader also means being a friend to everyone, trying to understand where they came from and why they act like that. Thus, lifting others when they are unsure of what they are doing, and trusting them completely. Also, leadership comes with the weight of losing and winning. When it comes to winning, almost everyone takes credit for it. However, if the weight of losing is considered, members and the leader take time to reflect on each action they took to ensure that next time they will do better.

 Lastly, reflecting on those days made me realize I am destined for situations like that, because throughout that journey, I continued to seek answers to my questions. I continually strive to find answers to become a better person. Spare time for new things aside from studies can also happen. That there is life beyond what I limit myself to exploring. Trying new things does not need to be perfect. The moment I stepped out of my comfort zone, it was a huge step. Life is not just about achieving good grades and winning in activities; it is also about losing to identify areas for improvement and learn valuable lessons. Moreover, leadership is like guiding and creating spaces for people to grow and realise their full potential in life. To succeed in a group, it takes a combination of effective communication, perseverance through hardships, failures, and teamwork. Throughout that journey, I found people with whom I can share and lend a shoulder when life feels heavy. I am grateful to have overcome those obstacles and become who I am today, and who I can be in the future. Life has many unknown events to unlock.

    According to Socrates, "It is to know that you do not know, and now that you know that you do not know, you are now willing to truly know. "